These are not in any particular order, but when it comes to college fraternities, you will usually find these things in the “house,” and may I remind you, never call your fraternity, a “frat,” you wouldn’t call your country… oh, well, never mind!
1. There will be a huge hole in one of the walls, with a unique, silly, and maybe even shocking story behind “how it happened” if anyone remembers the details, that is to say, if anyone was coherent enough to be aware of what happened on the night in question. I say “night” because it probably did not happen on a Wednesday morning during exam week.
2. There will be either (A) an old pinball machine, or (B) an old video arcade game, from the 1970s, such as Space Invaders or Ms. Pac Man, or (C) a Foosball table. There may even be a combination of more than one of these.
3. There will be an old beer keg, empty of course, many old empty wine bottles, now used as candle holders, and some various hip flasks. Some will be in good working order, and some will be broken, due to some crazy stunt, but they are kept for posterity, and as a souvenir of another crazy night.
4. There will be a huge, enormous, big screen television with all sorts of cable channels, and possibly a satellite hook-up where the brothers, and their friends, can watch all sorts of important things, such as reality television shows, a few sporting events, late night infomercials, and replays of movies like Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Animal House, Tommy Boy, and Monty Python episodes.
5. You will also see an old sofa or couch, that is really in need of a trip to the local dump, but because it is so old, so huge, and so heavy, no one wants to be bothered with carrying it out of the house, let alone transporting it to said dump. Besides, it acts as a bed for one or two party guests who pass out, and need to sleep it off in the house.
If we’ve left anything out, please let us know in the comments below! And try to keep it somewhat clean… you know, for the kids…